


Come As You Are

by Fcknziam



Series: Film Fics [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Closeted Character, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, but the ending is nice i swear, its important to say that because these tags don't look very promising
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:51:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fcknziam/pseuds/Fcknziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has been through alot and  can come off a bit strange, but Louis Zayn and Niall accept him anyway. (A Perks of Being a Wallflower AU)<br/>Title from a song by Nirvana of the same name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come As You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Valerieeexox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valerieeexox/gifts).



> This is my first Larry fic so let's all hope for the best. I love this book/film and have been wanting to write this for the longest time so I'm really excited for it, I hope you life it and don't think it's too much. I wanted to keep the same essence of the characters but try and make it my own the best I could...okay thats enough! Enjoy it!

**Summer**

  * **August 1993•**



_ The first day of school is the most exciting part of high school. At least that's what Gemma says. She's my sister, but she's more like a best friend. She's my only friend actually. I haven't spoken to anyone but my family all summer. Which I know seems a little sad but with school starting tomorrow I'm hoping to change that. Gemma told me I should get more involved in school activities. Join a club of something, so that school would be a lot easier for me, not like last year.She also said that I’d enjoy it a lot more.  Well no offense to Gemma but I doubt that.I haven't even stepped foot in the building and I'm already looking forward to the last day of my senior year. I've done the math and it's exactly 1,385 days from tomorrow.  _

_ I'm nervous. I told Gemma because she understands me better, but I haven't told mom because I know she worries enough as it is, and I'm sure she already knows. I don't want to be the weird kid that spent time in the hospital. I don't want to make people nervous to be around me anymore, I just hope I can make at least one friend.That's all I need. And I've got 1385 days to do it.  _

_ All the love, Harry xx. _

*****

Walking into the building there were more people than Harry had ever expected and he's already overwhelmed from it all, regretting Anne's offer to start tomorrow rather than on the official first day,but he wanted to start this new chapter in his life as normal as possible. Regardless how he was feeling now. As he walked along the sea of faces the thought crossed his mind that maybe he could be just that. Another face in the crowd. What with all the people, Harry figured he could easily disappear. But he'd promised himself and Gemma he'd do the exact opposite. So he gripped the straps on his backpack a bit tighter and held his shoulders back as much as he could manage and made his way to first period.

The first half of the day seems to go by in a blue of syllabuses and speeches from teachers about class expectations, that Harry paid great attention to. He actually quite liked school, liked the structure of it. He had a pact schedule of all the honors classes a freshman was allowed, with the exception of his art class. Harry always loved learning and asking questions, but academics wasn't always a passion of his. But after things got bad for him a few years ago, he dove head first into his books and never seemed to look up from them. 

Lunch seemed like it would be the hardest part for Harry for the remainder of the year but hopefully not the rest of his high school career. It was a lot lonelier than he'd thought it would be. He expected it to be a bit strange, with not having Luke with him, but he had hoped to maybe sit with some old acquaintances however none of them seemed welcoming.  They all gave him the same sympathetic, nervous look his mom gave him after he got out of the hospital. She still does every once in awhile. It never bothered him with Anne, it sort of just made him more sad, but sitting in the back corner of the cafeteria it did. He kept his head down, alternating between nibbling on the turkey sandwich Anne had packed so nearly for him and scribbling in his journal. Whenever he felt someone's eyes on him he'd lift his head up and give them a small smile and a wave, but it only seemed to make them more uncomfortable for starting in the first place. 

After lunch was art, the class Harry was second most excited for on his schedule. He himself wasn't too much of a skilled artist, no one in his family was, but he still liked to paint. Something about putting a brush to paper or canvas calmed him down. He did a lot of it while in the hospital, Dr. Campbell seemed to notice how much it helped him. A lot of the times it just was loads of color with no real shape or story, but to Harry it all made sense.

The room was set up with no order. Paint stained tables placed around the room with about four chairs around them. In the back corner was a counter filled with enough paint and supplies to rival the small art shop down the road from Harry's house. He took a seat at one of the tables nearest the window and waited for the class to file in. Every single one of them looked like they belonged in an art class, a lot of long hair,with brooding eyes and ripped jeans.Loads of band t-shirts. For the first time all day Harry felt like he may actually meet a friend, that he could actually fit in. One kid in particular seemed like someone Harry could get along with. He reminded him of Luke in a way. He had dark hair, a little undone and tan skin. By all accounts he was gorgeous, and if it were not for the giant tattoo on his forearm he'd be perfect. It was an odd choice for a tattoo. Bright red splatter pattern with the word ‘ZAP’ in the middle done in yellow print like a comic. Harry figure he must have been a senior. Between the tattoo and the way held himself. It was the same air of confidence he'd seen in the hallways, with none of the attitude. He was talking amongst the freshman at his table like they were old friends, he had kindest smile and Harry decided then that he liked him. 

A couple of minutes to by after the bell signaling the start of the class and there's no sign of the art teacher Mr.Ratick. Everyone seemed to get a little restless but ‘ZAP’ took charge of the situation. He got up in the front of the class, and drew on a mr. Raticks signature goatee and out on a deep voice before doing his best impersonation. Making some of the kids laugh, Harry who had no idea who this teacher was found himself laughing too, regardless if he knew how good the impersonation went. 

“I heard you were going to be in my class.” As it turns out ‘ZAP’s impression was spot on. Mr.Ratick took a spot up behind his desk,shaking his head.

“Real funny. Why don't you take a seat Zayn. It's far too early in the school year for write ups.”

Zayn does his best to wipe off the chalk goatee and goes quietly to his seat, giving a wink to one of the kids near the front still giggling. Harry sort of felt bad for him, Zayn didn't mean any harm in making fun of mr. Ratick, he was just trying to make all the freshman feel more comfortable. 

Harry had gone through most of the day without any run in with any of the upper class man and was having a good day. It had gone better than he'd expected, still lonely but not horrible. But he was still happy to hear that bell at 3:45. And just like he was promised his Anne was sat waiting for him in the pick up line. 

“So, how was it? Everything was good?” She tucked one of his unruly curls that didn't quite make it into his bun behind his ear. She never understood why Harry had wanted to grow it out so long, but gave up fussing over giving him a haircut months ago. Harry knows it bothers her still though. He thinks she fussed over him to much in general. 

“It was good.” He says it quickly, just ready to get home and finish the chapter in his book he was forced to stop reading. But Anne's eyes never leave Harry’s face and he knows she doesn't believe him. He turn in his seat taking the hand resting on his cheek in his hand.

“Mom, really it was fine. I'm gonna be okay.”

“Okay honey. As long as you're happy.” Happy wasn't exactly the word Harry would use to describe how he felt about everything, but he wasn't going to correct his mom. He gave her a weak smile and a nod and they headed home. One down 1384 more to go.

***

The rest of the week was much of the same for Harry. He first math, then history. He ate lunch by himself still, but by Wednesday it didn't seem to bother him as much. Art was still one of his favorite classes. Zayn was still making a name for himself as the class clown and quickly getting on Mr. Raticks bad side, but he never seemed bothered by it. As it turns out Zayn was actually a decent artists, he had a style of his own and Harry found himself watching him sketch in his note pad while Mr. Ratick talked about different forms of art. It was looking like art was gonna be a lot more talking than actual art for a lot of the year, and Zayn seemed less than impressed. He’d gotten his first reading assignments in English  yesterday. Harry had already read the book years ago, but was still excited none the less, excited to finally get to work on something he was passionate about. 

He also got the chance to talk to Gemma yesterday. She’s away at college a couple hundred miles away, studying art. Harry and his mom  don’t get to talk to her as much as they’d like so when she's got the time to talk to them  on the phone.She always seems to have make time for Harry though, regardless. She’d called to see how his first week was going, making sure he wasn't getting bad again. And Harry assured her he was just fine, he told her he’d met a friend, Zayn in his art class. He left out the part that he’d only ever said two words to him but, those were just details. She told him how proud she was of him, that he could follow in her footsteps as an art history major, and they both laughed. Harry was a writer, always had been. 

“So bub, given any thought to what clubs you’ll join? I know it’s early in the year, but I’m sure everyone's started advertising?” She was always so encouraging when it came to Harry, the perfect balance of coddling and lighting a fire under his ass, and Harry appreciated her for it. 

“Actually - um. I mean, I’ve seen some things that look promising, but - I don't, I don't know if I’ll join any of them.”

“Harry.” This is what he’d expected.

“Gemma.” She could hear the smirk in Harry's voice and she wasn't amused. Not entirely at least,she was glad to see a piece of the old Harry again. It had been a while since hearing that upbeat tone to his voice. 

“Don’t do that, come on hun. You promised you were going to try and make this year different. And I know you’ve been trying, I know you have but I thought we said you'd give something a try.” 

“Well there's a game tomorrow night? A-a um,football game.” 

“Perfect! Why don't you go, ask that art friend of yours Zayn! I'm sure it would be fun.” 

He hadn't given actually going to the game much thought, none at all in fact. But the idea of going seemed nice enough.And Gemma made it sound promising.

He didn't bother to ask Zayn to come along with him when Friday came along but he still figured he could go. It's all about the atmosphere, he decided. 

Anne dropped him off just in time for kick off, and he kinda wished he'd had Luke with him. There were so many people he didn’t really know what to do or where to go, so he settled on going to the concession stand first. He ordered himself some cheese fries and a soda before heading to the stands that way he had least something to do with his hands. He at the first open bench he saw near the front, not much of a view of the field,but he wouldn’t have been entirely sure of what he was watching had he had a better one so he figures it was good enough. Something good must have happened though because almost as soon as he sat down, the whole stadium started cheering, and standing on their feet. He wasn’t sure why, but he couldn't help but smile along with everyone. He would have clapped too but he had a handful of cheese fries. 

One voice, it seemed, overpowered everyone else, cheering passionately, and throwing in a name ever so often. Liam. Harry guessed it was one of the players. He looked back and was surprised it was Zayn. Smiling and blissfully unaware of how loud he was actually being. Harry looked around and saw that there were a few spaces near him where he could maybe sit. Before he could stop himself from second guessing his decision, he made his way further up the bleacher near Zayn while everyone was still on there feet with the excitement of the last play.

He sat there for a while a few feet down the bench from Zayn, hoping he’d see him and say hi. That’s all Harry really wanted, to know that someone had noticed him, had remembered him. Then he remembered his talk with Gemma. He was meant to making the first moves, he needed to get involved. 

“H-Hey Zayn!” he yelled it just loud enough over the crowd, just enough to get his attention. To harry’s surprise it worked. Zayn looked over giving him the same soft smile he remembered on Monday. 

“Hey, your in my art class right?” Zayn didn't say it accusingly at all. It was in that warm tone Harry seemed to notice that was just so naturally Zayn. 

“Um, yeah.” Harry nodded and flashed him a genuine smile,surprised that Zayn had actually remembered him. 

“Do you wanna come over and sit? Unless you’re waiting for friends or -”

“No, no. Um I can sit.” Harry grabbed the soda near his foot, and walked over to the other side of the stairs taking a seat. He didn’t get a chance to say anything else to Zayn before he’s on his feet cheering for something else happening on the field. 

“Thank God you showed up. My friend bailed on me tonight. So how’s this hell hole treating  you?”

“What?” He hadn’t had anyone speak to him so bluntly in a long time. 

“The school I mean. You’re finding your way, finding yourself, and all that?” He playfully shoved him in the shoulder with a wink. Harry tried his best not to seem put off guard but he definitely was. He’d only said a few words to zayn, and sure he told Gemma they were friends, but here they are at a football game, and Zayn is actually talking to him as if their old pals. Not that Harry is complaining any. It’s certainly making him less nervous about the whole thing. Making friends.

“I’m doing alright, I suppose. As good as any other freshman I guess. Wish we’d actually get to do some art, in art class though.”

“Don’t even get me started.” Zayn groaned, and Harry hoped he didn’t already upset him, in only his second interaction with him. “I knew Mr. Ratick was a hard ass, but that is not what I signed up for. I just want to get my hand on some paint already. I’m done talking about theory. It’s paint on a canvas, not rocket science ya know?” Harry just nodded his head. He didn't mind all the theory actually. He didn't particularly enjoy it, but it didn't seem to bother him as much Zayn. Maybe it's because Gemma taught him a lot about art, so he’s use to it. Or it just makes him feel better about his sister being so far away. 

“You’re a good artist though. I-I’ve seen you sketch in class. It’s really good.” Harry hasn’t looked Zayn in the eye yet, but he made sure when he’d talked about his art, because he meant it. Zayn smiles and gives him a quick 'thanks'. 

They chat for most of the remainder of half time, Zayn asks him about his teachers and tells him which ones to look out for, the ones to look forward too later on in his sophomore and junior years. 

“You’ll be okay. I know what I said earlier but this place really isn’t all that bad. Don’t get me wrong it’s got it’s shitty qualities but - Well, well well. Look what the cat dragged in.” Harry turned to see who Zayn was talking to and he immediately wished he hadn’t, because suddenly he forgot how to speak, or move over to let the guy sit down. 

“Very funny. I said I’d be here didn’t I. And by the looks of the board seems I didn't miss much.” Harry assumed this must be the friend Zayn was talking about. He’d seen him with Zayn before walking down the hallway or at lunch on the other end of the cafeteria. But seeing him now, sat right in front of him, he looked entirely different. Pretty even, which Harry thinks is a strange word to use for a guy but that’s exactly what he was. He was a lot smaller than Harry, but with short rather shaggy hair, and the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. He reminded Harry of a disney prince, or Peter Pan. Yeah, Harry thinks he looks like Peter Pan. Before he can say anything Peter is squeezing himself on the bench beside him, forcing Harry between him and Zayn. 

“Your lucky I showed up at all.” Peter says leaning over Harry. 

“Your right. Thank you prince Louis, for sparing me your precious time. I know you’re a very busy man.” So Harry’s not the only one who thinks Peter- Louis, looks like a prince. 

“I am indeed.” He leans moves around on the metal bench a bit to get comfortable, before swiping one of Harry's fries, who surprisingly doesn't mind. “Zayn who’s this?”

“Oh louis this is..” He trails off a bit and Harry takes the opportunity. 

“Harry. Harry Styles.” Harry sticks his hand out to Peter and he seemed a bit taken back. He forgets people his age don’t usually shake hands, but it’s a habit his mom taught him. 

“I’m Louis, nice to meet you. And I guess you’ve already met Zayn over there.” Zayn only gives a small nod, much too enthralled with the players filing back onto the field. 

“So kid you’re a freshman? Why does your name sound so familiar?” He smiled over at Harry. 

“I am. But I have an older sister Gemma, who went here. She graduated only a few years ago. Maybe you knew her?” Louis smirked, and sighed eyeing the side of Zayn’s face. And in seconds just like Louis expected Zayn snapped his head around.

“Gemma. Gemma Styles is your sister?” 

“Yeah. She’s in college now, in the UK actually. She’s studying Art History.” Harry said around the straw of his drink, not grasping just how important that information was to Zayn. Louis did. 

“Zayn had a bit of a thing for your sister back in the day.” Harry laughed as Louis quite loudly whispered in his ear.

“Well, don’t make it weird Lou. But yes, your sister is legendary ‘around these parts. Gorgeous, sweet as could be, in literally every club there was.But don’t worry, you’re just as pretty as she was so I’m sure you’ll get on just fine.” Zayn laughs and winks over Louis who he can read like a book. Before Louis sat down, Zayn knew Harry was his type. Tall, pretty eyes, that same soft yet slow way of speaking all of Louis’s ex’s seemed to have. He was a lot nicer then all of them, from what Zayn could tell, but he knew Louis was going to like him. 

“Um, thanks I guess.” Harry takes the compliment with a shy nod, and tries his best not to blush too much, but can feel his face heating up regardless. 

“So Louis, party at Niall’s tonight?” Zayn’s eyes never truly leave the field.

“Nope. He got caught watering down his dad's brandy with ice tea. Plus he’s still trying to get back into good graces after our 4th of July shenanigans,so he’s on double lockdown. Lets just go to Georgie’s.”Louis says munching on another one of Harry's fries. Harry's Opted to hold the fries more towards the center of the two of them. 

“I’m down. Harry, we’re going to Georgie’s after the game if you’d like to join us.” 

“That sound nice. Okay.” Harry smiles between Zayn and Louis and watches the remainder of the game with a huge weight lifted from his chest. 10380 days left, and he's already got two friends. For the first time in a while he actually feels like he'll be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to post it all at once when I have it all typed out but I couldn't help myself! The rest will be up tomorrow, fingers crossed. I hope the end didn't seem too rushed, and you liked everything...these endnotes are always so odd to me.. anyway let me know what you think so far?


End file.
